In My Daughter’s Growth, I See the Shape of My Own

w: Johnathon E. Briggs

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    • In My Daughter’s Growth, I See the Shape of My Own

    — July 28, 2025 —

    It came out of nowhere, as it often does—the sharp, “Ewwwwww!” slicing the air just as my wife and I shared a kiss in the kitchen (a peck, really), completely unaware our daughter was watching nearby. And just like that, I was reminded: we have a tween in the house.

    Life with a tween brings its own surprises—new smells that call for deodorant, sly attempts at bedtime to hide an iPad under the covers, and the unsettling realization that although my daughter is slowly transforming before my eyes, I’m somehow blind to the changes.

    At her last physical, under the fluorescent lights of her pediatrician’s office, she slipped off her sneakers, stepped onto a scale, and clocked in at 89 pounds and nearly 5 feet tall—just nine inches shy of me. I didn’t see that coming. “Where did this height come from?” I wondered, as if I haven’t seen her every day of her natural life.

    That’s the thing about parenting: you rarely see what’s coming because you’re so immersed in the rhythm of it all—the lunches to pack; the drop-offs and the pick-ups; the daily routine of in and out. You plan, you pray, but in the end all you can really do is guide, nurture, and pour into your child. Because the journey itself is the destination.

    The next stop for us? Sixth grade. Middle school.

    A whole new world awaits my daughter—new friends to make, hallways to navigate, a locker combination to memorize, and a schedule to route her from bell to bell. I can already picture her standing a little taller, backpack slung over her shoulders, scanning the sea of faces in a cafeteria that may feel too big and too loud for her autistic mind.

    My daughter’s growth is shaping me as much as it’s shaping her, reminding me that fatherhood is its own kind of evolution.

    She’s no longer the wide-eyed first-grader who once clung to my hand, her small fingers wrapped tightly around mine as if I were her anchor. Next month she will be an 11-year-old junior high student finding her own way, loosening the tether bit by bit, as she crosses the bridge between childhood and adolescence.

    And though I know this is exactly how it’s meant to be, part of me still wants to reach out, take her hand, and hold on just a little longer.

    For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Newton’s Third Law of Motion.

    As my daughter continues her transition to teendom—puberty creeping in one subtle change at a time—I find myself entering a new phase of fatherhood at 50. My own body is shifting in ways I hadn’t expected. Love handles linger. Strands of gray now thread through my eyebrows and play peek-a-boo in my mustache. Recovery from workouts takes longer. Aches and stiffness remind me that stretching is no longer optional.

    Where I once fought to preserve the appearance of youth, my focus has shifted. Now, I’m intent on longevity—not for vanity’s sake, but because I want to be here for my family, to be a vibrant presence for as long as fate allows.

    In this way, my daughter’s growth is shaping me as much as it’s shaping her, reminding me that fatherhood is its own kind of evolution. We’re like two trees growing side by side, each branching upward, each shaping the other’s light.

    I’m still the taller tree, of course. And when I look at my daughter I no longer see my little girl, but a young woman slowly, surely, beginning to take root alongside of me.

    In the midst of a world in turmoil, she is blossoming.

    What more could a father ask?

    Credits: Feature photo by Shani Barel on Unsplash + Banner photo by Frederik Löwer on Unsplash

    660 words

    7.28.25

    Johnathon E. BriggsHusband • Father • Storyteller • #BlackDadMagic • ΑΦΑ

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    About

    Few may know this, but twice as many dads of newborns today are now in the 40-plus age group, compared to the 1970s. Six weeks before my 40th birthday, I became a first-time father, hence the title of this blog.

    This life-changing moment made me think about my own dad, who became a father at 43. As my parenthood journey unfolded, I noticed that most of my friends had become parents earlier in life yet, here I was, changing diapers and battling sleep deprivation at (nearly) 40. I told my wife, “Parenting is definitely a young man’s game.” But is it really?

    Where most of my friends were preparing for their children’s middle and high school graduations, I was mastering the art of the swaddle, perfecting the one-hand baby wipe, and learning to decipher my daughter’s gurgles and whimpers. It occurred to me that I had so much more to offer my daughter at the sure-footed age of 40 than I did at, say, 28, when I was still coming into my own.

    Fatherhood@Forty: Memoirs of a Gen X Suburban Dad™ is a creative outlet to share my experiences and connect with other (relatively) late-in-life dads.

    Here are a few factoids about me, Johnathon Briggs, the editor behind this blog:

    • I’m a former journalist (Los Angeles Times, The Baltimore Sun, Chicago Tribune).
    • I love exploring Chicago and the Midwest with my family.
    • I remain on a constant quest to stay fit.
    • I support charities that fight HIV, uplift families affected by incarceration, and ensure African American boys graduate from college.
    • I’m a comic book geek (mostly Marvel, but a bit of DC and Image Comics).
    • I’m a child of the ‘80s, so please expect occasional references to the Golden Age of Hip-Hop.

    As a reporter for daily newspapers, I had the opportunity to interview fascinating people and to test out great products and brands for my readers. I hope to do the same for you as I blog about the moments that make up this adventure called fatherhood.

    Feel free to tweet (@fatherhoodforty) or email (fatherhoodforty@gmail.com) me if you’d like to collaborate or have ideas for a blog post.

    Father on,

    P.S. Check out The Art of Conversation podcast interview I did with Art Eddy from Life of Dad.

     

    Disclaimer: Fatherhood@Forty may contain affiliate marketing links, which may result in commission on sales of products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

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    About

    Few may know this, but twice as many dads of newborns today are now in the 40-plus age group, compared to the 1970s. Six weeks before my 40th birthday, I became a first-time father, hence the title of this blog.

    This life-changing moment made me think about my own dad, who became a father at 43. As my parenthood journey unfolded, I noticed that most of my friends had become parents earlier in life yet, here I was, changing diapers and battling sleep deprivation at (nearly) 40. I told my wife, “Parenting is definitely a young man’s game.” But is it really?

    Where most of my friends were preparing for their children’s middle and high school graduations, I was mastering the art of the swaddle, perfecting the one-hand baby wipe, and learning to decipher my daughter’s gurgles and whimpers. It occurred to me that I had so much more to offer my daughter at the sure-footed age of 40 than I did at, say, 28, when I was still coming into my own.

    Fatherhood@Forty: Memoirs of a Gen X Suburban Dad™ is a creative outlet to share my experiences and connect with other (relatively) late-in-life dads.

    Here are a few factoids about me, Johnathon Briggs, the editor behind this blog:

    • I’m a former journalist (Los Angeles Times, The Baltimore Sun, Chicago Tribune).
    • I love exploring Chicago and the Midwest with my family.
    • I remain on a constant quest to stay fit.
    • I support charities that fight HIV, uplift families affected by incarceration, and ensure African American boys graduate from college.
    • I’m a comic book geek (mostly Marvel, but a bit of DC and Image Comics).
    • I’m a child of the ‘80s, so please expect occasional references to the Golden Age of Hip-Hop.

    As a reporter for daily newspapers, I had the opportunity to interview fascinating people and to test out great products and brands for my readers. I hope to do the same for you as I blog about the moments that make up this adventure called fatherhood.

    Feel free to tweet (@fatherhoodforty) or email (fatherhoodforty@gmail.com) me if you’d like to collaborate or have ideas for a blog post.

    Father on,

    P.S. Check out The Art of Conversation podcast interview I did with Art Eddy from Life of Dad.

     

    Disclaimer: Fatherhood@Forty may contain affiliate marketing links, which may result in commission on sales of products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
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