What Kobe Bryant’s Death Reminds Me About Life

w: Johnathon E. Briggs

w: Johnathon E. Briggs

What Kobe Bryant’s Death Reminds Me About Life

— February 2, 2020 —

As part of the ritual to become the Black Panther, T’Challa, king and protector of Wakanda, takes the heart-shaped herb that gives him his heroic powers and experiences a spiritual vision in which he meets his deceased father, T’Chaka. “I am not ready to be without you,” T-Challa says, to which T’Chaka replies, “A man who has not prepared his children for his own death has failed as a father. Have I ever failed you?”

This scene from the superhero film “Black Panther” has echoed in my mind since the sudden untimely death of basketball great Kobe Bryant and his teenage daughter, Gianna, who were killed in a helicopter crash a week ago today, along with seven other passengers.

Those passengers were less famous than Kobe, but no less loved. Collectively they were mothers, fathers, daughters, and coaches:

  • John Altobelli, beloved coach of the Orange Coast College baseball team, perished along with his wife, Keri, and youngest daughter, Alyssa.
  • Christina Mauser, assistant coach for the Mamba Sports Academy basketball team and mother of three, had her life cut short a week before her daughter’s 4th birthday.
  • Sarah Chester was headed to the sports academy to cheer on her 13-year-old basketball-playing daughter, Payton, in a tournament.
  • All died along with the pilot, Ara Zobayan, who leaves behind a longtime girlfriend and her two children who he reportedly treated as his own.

How do you prepare your children for your own death?

It is a macabre and unsettling question, one that no parent truly wants to think about. Death and parenthood are not topics that seamlessly pair together like “love and marriage.” I hope my daughter, now a kindergartener, outlives me, but I wouldn’t want to leave her before she’s gotten a chance to truly know me. Until last week, I had never imagined a scenario in which she and I could perish together, leaving my wife to mourn.

The thought alone is disturbing.

That’s why Kobe’s death has given me—a fellow #GirlDad—pause. It’s not just who he was, what he accomplished or who he was becoming as he approached mid-life, but the circumstances of his demise that remind me of something that sounds cliché but is no less true: tomorrow is not promised.

Kobe was 41.

He was the proud father of four girls.

He died on the fourth Sunday of the month.

His daughter, Gianna, was just 13, which adds up to four.

In numerology, 4 is the number of Foundation—four winds, four seasons, four corners of a square. As Joanne Walmsley notes on her blog, “the duty of the 4 vibration is to build a firm foundation for themselves on which others may stand, work and be protected.”

How do you prepare your children for your own death?

Raise them up on a foundation of love. Hug them. Nurture them. Be present in their presence. Pass on the best of yourself to them. By all accounts, Kobe and the circle of mothers, fathers, and father figures aboard that helicopter did just that for their children. They did not fail.

There are of course financial and legal instruments to consider: insurance policies, writing a will, and if you have the resources, establishing a trust. But that’s the administrative side of this question.

How do you prepare your children for your own death?

By showing them how to truly live.

 

Father on,

575 words

2.2.20

Johnathon E. BriggsHusband • Father • Storyteller • #BlackDadMagic • ΑΦΑ

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About

Few may know this, but twice as many dads of newborns today are now in the 40-plus age group, compared to the 1970s. Six weeks before my 40th birthday, I became a first-time father, hence the title of this blog.

This life-changing moment made me think about my own dad, who became a father at 43. As my parenthood journey unfolded, I noticed that most of my friends had become parents earlier in life yet, here I was, changing diapers and battling sleep deprivation at (nearly) 40. I told my wife, “Parenting is definitely a young man’s game.” But is it really?

Where most of my friends were preparing for their children’s middle and high school graduations, I was mastering the art of the swaddle, perfecting the one-hand baby wipe, and learning to decipher my daughter’s gurgles and whimpers. It occurred to me that I had so much more to offer my daughter at the sure-footed age of 40 than I did at, say, 28, when I was still coming into my own.

Fatherhood@Forty: Memoirs of a Gen X Suburban Dad™ is a creative outlet to share my experiences and connect with other (relatively) late-in-life dads.

Here are a few factoids about me, Johnathon Briggs, the editor behind this blog:

  • I’m a former journalist (Los Angeles Times, The Baltimore Sun, Chicago Tribune).
  • I love exploring Chicago and the Midwest with my family.
  • I remain on a constant quest to stay fit.
  • I support charities that fight HIV, uplift families affected by incarceration, and ensure African American boys graduate from college.
  • I’m a comic book geek (mostly Marvel, but a bit of DC and Image Comics).
  • I’m a child of the ‘80s, so please expect occasional references to the Golden Age of Hip-Hop.

As a reporter for daily newspapers, I had the opportunity to interview fascinating people and to test out great products and brands for my readers. I hope to do the same for you as I blog about the moments that make up this adventure called fatherhood.

Feel free to tweet (@fatherhoodforty) or email ([email protected]) me if you’d like to collaborate or have ideas for a blog post.

Father on,

P.S. Check out The Art of Conversation podcast interview I did with Art Eddy from Life of Dad.

 


Disclaimer: Fatherhood@Forty may contain affiliate marketing links, which may result in commission on sales of products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

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About

Few may know this, but twice as many dads of newborns today are now in the 40-plus age group, compared to the 1970s. Six weeks before my 40th birthday, I became a first-time father, hence the title of this blog.

This life-changing moment made me think about my own dad, who became a father at 43. As my parenthood journey unfolded, I noticed that most of my friends had become parents earlier in life yet, here I was, changing diapers and battling sleep deprivation at (nearly) 40. I told my wife, “Parenting is definitely a young man’s game.” But is it really?

Where most of my friends were preparing for their children’s middle and high school graduations, I was mastering the art of the swaddle, perfecting the one-hand baby wipe, and learning to decipher my daughter’s gurgles and whimpers. It occurred to me that I had so much more to offer my daughter at the sure-footed age of 40 than I did at, say, 28, when I was still coming into my own.

Fatherhood@Forty: Memoirs of a Gen X Suburban Dad™ is a creative outlet to share my experiences and connect with other (relatively) late-in-life dads.

Here are a few factoids about me, Johnathon Briggs, the editor behind this blog:

  • I’m a former journalist (Los Angeles Times, The Baltimore Sun, Chicago Tribune).
  • I love exploring Chicago and the Midwest with my family.
  • I remain on a constant quest to stay fit.
  • I support charities that fight HIV, uplift families affected by incarceration, and ensure African American boys graduate from college.
  • I’m a comic book geek (mostly Marvel, but a bit of DC and Image Comics).
  • I’m a child of the ‘80s, so please expect occasional references to the Golden Age of Hip-Hop.

As a reporter for daily newspapers, I had the opportunity to interview fascinating people and to test out great products and brands for my readers. I hope to do the same for you as I blog about the moments that make up this adventure called fatherhood.

Feel free to tweet (@fatherhoodforty) or email ([email protected]) me if you’d like to collaborate or have ideas for a blog post.

Father on,

P.S. Check out The Art of Conversation podcast interview I did with Art Eddy from Life of Dad.

 


Disclaimer: Fatherhood@Forty may contain affiliate marketing links, which may result in commission on sales of products or services I write about. My editorial content is not influenced by advertisers or affiliate partnerships. This disclosure is provided in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR § 255.5: Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.
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